giant robots fighting god

I'm Sorry, Front Mission!
Peter Tatara - February 23, 2008

So, I publicly told Square Enix to fuck off after playing their Front Mission for the Nintendo DS a week ago. I was stuck on a campaign, got frustrated, almost snapped my DS, and felt expressing my displeasure to the internet would accomplish more than complaining to my girlfriend -- because while my girlfriend vocally wouldn't care, I can pretend there's someone out there in cyberspace who silently understands me. I, now, want to say I'm sorry to the good folks at Square Enix for all the nasty cuss words I threw at them. I played through the mission that was giving me so much trouble again, this time buying a few shields and chaff grenades for my wanzers, and I was able to crush my competition. In fact, I've gotten through the next half dozen battles, too, and I've been able to pulverize every opponent.

I've still got to ponder why it is that my robots miss more often than not even when they're only one step away from a bad guy and my enemies always, always, always can mow me down from the far side of the battlefield, but I've been able to collect enough armor so that even a few missiles don't stop my hulking, metal brutes. I just wish my pilots weren't blind or incompetent.

Of course, I don't know if I should be happy with my renewed enthusiasm for Front Mission. A game that mandates you give it your undivided attention for hours at a time, it's completely shut down the rest of my life. When I get home from work, I either choose to make dinner, talk with my girlfriend, do some writing, watch TV, and make plans with friends -- or I play Front Mission.

Because of Front Mission, I'm sleeping less, shaving less, showering less, and wearing shirts and pants for handfuls of days at a time. When was the last time I changed my socks? This isn't healthy, and this isn't who I am. This thing that I'm becoming, it's the game.

I could try to set the game down and pick up my normal life again, but I know that wouldn't work, as I'm now addicted to upgrading my little, modular robots. I just upgraded Royd's wanzer from a Zelt chassis to a Strega. Of course, while the Strega's got a few hundred more hit points than the Zelt, Zelt had style. I wonder if I can find a Zelt figurine.

I can't set Front Mission down. No, instead, I've got to sink more into it, submerging myself into the game so that I can finish it as soon as possible. And, with luck, that'll only take four more weeks. So, that's my plan.

I'm sorry, Front Mission, for yelling at you. Thank you, Front Mission, for being awesome.

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